a beginning
2005-10-25 - 8:07 p.m.

all right. so. where to begin...
or begin again, as it happens.

i am 21, and live in arizona. this is not exactly by choice. i happen to be a fan of seasons, which arizona does not have, and do not like cacti, which arizona has in abundance. however, due to the cost of housing and my inability to stay interested in a job for longer than two months at a time, i am here, where my father is, living in his house and eating his food and very generally being spoiled by him.

i have a boyfriend, matt. matt is, for lack of a better term, the poo. i met him when i was forcing myself to start eating again- i don't think i actually ever had anorexia, but i do have some fashion of eating disorder, because some days i'll go crazy and won't eat for days on end. usually i can control it but it's a mentality that has forever changed my outlook on life and my body. jesus christ, you'd think that, at 5'6" and 128 pounds, i would have very little to complain about, but still...

i work at a restaurant which is somewhat balls. i used to serve there and make teh fat cash, and now i'm an "expediter" (?) and "hospitality" which means that, with the former, i put food together and make it look pretty, and with the latter i lead people to their seats and give their asses menus to peruse. currently, i desire to shave my head (again- i did it last year, and am missing it) but have to deal with having mere short hair because my boss has said he'll fire me if i do it. arizona is a right-to-work state, so he can do that. ordinarily i would be a pissant, but i have discovered recently that being broke blows dogs for quarters, so i'd prefer to keep my job.

today i spent my time dragging my ass at school, because i got absolutely no sleep last night and woke up with a headache that could kill a bear. didn't actually learn anything in communications class; rather, we discussed the answers i had given to an assignment (it was put up as an example of 'superb student work'- it was composed of questions pertaining to the film 'garden state', and i'm amazed i did well because i was extremely high when i watched the second half of the movie.) also, i spent the majority of class sniffling (i am sick, currently, probably, again, from not eating) and wanting to bash the face in of a fellow i'll call the Chipmunk because i haven't cared enough to learn his name. this person has a molester moustache and is fat and native american. he wears finding nemo and guns 'n' roses t-shirts and talks incessantly in class, on every topic. if he were even remotely intelligent this wouldn't bother me, but he's not. he's a turd. everything we discuss, he gives an opinion on and follows it with an anecdote about someone in his family. currently, i think everyone in the class is planning on killing him. i would be the first in line with a mace of some sort, i'm sure.

in biology we discussed the environmental protection act, a lecture i gleaned nothing from because i was too busy trying not to fall asleep and keeping my nasal passages from permanently closing.

amen, abracadabra, amen.

the coolest song in the world right now is:the world is not enough - garbage
if i were an emoticon i'd be:sniffly

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