happy hump day.
2005-12-28 - 8:42 p.m.

henceforth i will try to play nice. all of my being is rebelling violently against this, partly to prevent becoming an absolute goober, and partly because i've seen the state of the populace and don't believe the majority of them deserve any niceness. still, when one is tired one resorts to anything to get some rest. the problem now is i haven't got any idea how to be nice. i tried, yesterday. it seemed to work. but today it was back to my sister yelling at me that i was a 'heartless bitch', a title i would claim rather proudly if she actually knew what she was saying. i'm not sure i respect her opinion enough to take it into account. i would love it if i could become the antithesis of myself (i.e. meek and timid and submissive) but i don't think that could be on the agenda. concerning anton lavey's idea of profiles, i'm wondering if permanent personality change is even possible. or could i just pretend? i always have loved acting.

maybe i just need more skirts.

every man wants a lady on the street and a whore in the bedroom.

spent today doing... nothing significant. at least, nothing worth writing about. i watched old home movies, marvelled at how ugly i was as a child. my father was usually working, and my mother was usually drinking, so neither made sure my sister and i bathed regularly or wore deodorant, or got us proper haircuts. and my sister and i weren't about to be arsed to do it on our own, which resulted in our being shunned the second we moved to montana, seeing as to how we were smelly and thoroughly behind the times. (i still wore day-glo. i thought it was cool.) i also further cemented in myself the desire to never have children. or at least, the plan to never have children. i'm not sure i could actually put another human being through all this. i am starting to come to the conclusion that it isn't worth it.

anyway, happy hump day. everyone go home and hump.

the coolest song in the world right now is:foolish girl. by some fifties girl group.
if i were an emoticon i'd be:fuzzy

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