2005-12-26 - 9:42 p.m.

i'm so tired and so sad these days. i didn't eat anything today until quarter after eight. i drank salt water for a laxative effect this morning. i discovered why people get addicted to laxatives. i worked today, if you can call it that. i guess celeste and arnaud, my employers, are going to get into the habit of having me around WHILE they're at home, something i don't feel i deserve $10 for, especially since emile, who is three, is a terror while his parents are around and so, instead of keeping them out of the way like i am supposed to, i have to work twice as hard and handle a screaming, crying child.

now i know why lions eat their young.

the sadness. i'm not sure why it's hanging around. partly because of the fucking holidays, i'm sure. partly because i am not eating, partly because my hormones are out of whack, and partly because i'm stressed about money. cry me a fucking river, i know. i'm the worst complainer in the world.

i'm tired of being a bitch but i don't know how to be nice.

would someone like to teach me?

the coolest song in the world right now is:something by madonna, i don't know.
if i were an emoticon i'd be:sad.

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