thanksgiving, etcetera.
2005-11-24 - 11:32 a.m.

my friend said to me this morning, "happy "thanks for letting us take your land and kill your people" day"

i replied, "happy 'gorge yourself and feel that it's justified' day to you, as well"

this is my first vegetarian and mildly restricting thanksgiving. the gym was open at 8 this morning, until 2. i am itching to go, but preventing myself. i think that i will instead walk my dogs. it's 82 degrees outside. damn it, why can't it be overcast and frosty? sunshine in winter is not right. it doesn't create the right ambience.

winter is supposed to be homey. you're supposed to have to trudge around in foot-deep snow, feeding cranky horses or shovelling the driveway or hauling wood or wrapping pipes or traversing the woods in search of... whatever... knowing that you have a warm home to come back to, where you can peel off your cold, wet cothes, change into some flannel pyjamas and warm up a cup of hot chocolate, and sit on the couch with the dogs begging at your knees, content that the snow is out there and not in here.

i can't do that here. it's summer right now, still. the past few days have been tantalising, between 50 and 60 degrees, but this! for thanksgiving! it's inhuman! it may sound luscious to those of you who are cursing at the gas bill right now, if your house is so drafty you have to have the heat on full blast, but you don't understand how good it is... this is one of the reasons i hate arizona. there's no change, it just goes between abnormally mild winter, hot and then hotter. when i lived in montana, i hated the snow. but now i yearn for it.

i mean, i can't actually drink hot chocolate, too many calories.

maybe this is just me yearning for childhood. the movie "garden state" was retarded, but one thing the dude said stuck in my mind rather a bit, since i've thought it all my life: that you lose your childhood, and then you spend all your time trying to get it back, and maybe you don't until you have a family of your own. my family life wasn't bad, and my parents didn't divorce until i was eighteen. but maybe that's the worst time, because that's when i'm starting to become an adult, and that's when i am maturing and REALLY need a home to come back to, to feel needed in my independence.

i don't know. i don't know. i'm always amazed that anyone's parents are together, these days.

this is my first vegetarian thanksgiving. this is sure to cause uproar in my redneck family.

the coolest song in the world right now is:megalomaniac - incubus
if i were an emoticon i'd be:wistful

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