i dropped cottage cheese on myself at the supermarket today. it got all over my high heels and bare legs.

i stood there attempting to look casual next to my shopping cart while my father went to alert someone to clean it up. a very thin man with bleached blonde hair and a pink polo shirt came by with an old woman and i said, in my best good-citizen voice, "watch out for the cheese mess."

to which he replied in a very dramatic homosexual way, "oh my god, there's been a cottage cheeseicide!"

recent blonde moments:
"cocaine makes you thin, but at such a high cost!"
"i wish i could get old so that i could quit worrying about being fat already."
"if jello had pectin instead of gelatin would they call it pecto?"
"how can beef be organic? cows aren't plants."
"my skirt looks good in these legs."

the leaves are turning orange and falling off the trees. mother nature is always the last to get the memo about seasonal change here in arizona.

i'm going to eat some celery. would you all please applaud me? i'd like applause.

the coolest song in the world right now is:my cat - jack off jill
if i were an emoticon i'd be:apathetic, really.